Child-Inclusive Mediation: Giving Children a Safe Voice

Helping separating parents make informed, attuned decisions by allowing children aged 10 and over to share their thoughts and feelings in a neutral, supportive space.

What is Child-Inclusive Mediation (CIM)?

During family breakdown or separation, children often carry worries, thoughts, and hopes that they hesitate to share directly with their parents for fear of upsetting them or being caught in the middle.
Child-Inclusive Mediation offers children and young people (typically aged 10+) a confidential opportunity to meet individually with a specialist, qualified child consultant. It is not about asking children to choose between parents or make adult decisions; it is about ensuring their voice is gently heard and considered as you shape their future.

Key Principles of the Process
 

• Entirely Voluntary: A child is never forced to participate. Both parents must consent, and the young person must want to take part.

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• Strictly Confidential for the Child: The session is the child’s private space. The mediator only shares information, feedback, or messages with the parents that the child explicitly agrees to share.

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• No Pressure or Decision-Making: Children are never asked to pick sides, decide living schedules, or comment on adult disputes.

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• Promoting Child Well-Being: Hearing a child’s perspective directly helps parents look past conflict and focus on practical routines that support their children emotionally.

How Child-Inclusive Mediation Works: 4 Steps

1. Parental Assessment & Consent
During individual or joint mediation sessions, parents and the mediator discuss whether Child-Inclusive Mediation is suitable and beneficial for the family. Both parents provide formal written consent.

2. The Child’s Invitation & Meeting
The child is invited to a private, relaxed 45-minute session with the specialist mediator (in person or via secure video call). The environment is warm, informal, and designed to help them feel at ease.

3. Agreeing Feedback
At the end of the meeting, the mediator and child agree together on the key messages, feelings, and wishes the child would like communicated to their parents.

4. Parent Feedback Session
The mediator meets with both parents to share the agreed feedback. Parents use these insights to finalize their Parenting Plan and living arrangements with a clearer understanding of their child’s needs.
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Frequently Asked Questions About CIM

Q: At what age can a child take part?
A: In accordance with Family Mediation Council guidelines, Child-Inclusive Mediation is generally offered to children aged 10 and above, though younger siblings may be involved in specific family circumstances where appropriate.

Q: Will what my child says be used in court?
A: No. Child-Inclusive Mediation is part of the confidential, without-prejudice mediation process. It is not a CAFCASS report or an expert assessment for court proceedings.

Q: Does my child have the final say on where they live?
A: No. The responsibility for making decisions remains entirely with the parents. CIM simply ensures that parents have full visibility of how their child is experiencing the current arrangements.