Question 1

Do I have to be in the same room as my ex-partner?

Accepted Answer

No. If you do not feel comfortable being in the same room, we can discuss other options. For example, shuttle mediation allows you to be in separate rooms, either in person or online, while the mediator moves between you. The aim is to make sure both people feel safe and able to communicate effectively.

Question 2

Can you tell us who is right and decide what should happen with our children?

Accepted Answer

A mediator is impartial and does not take sides or make decisions for you. My role is to help you both communicate, explore different options and hopefully reach an agreement that works for your family. When discussing children, we will keep their needs and wellbeing at the centre of the conversation.

Question 3

Is what we say in mediation confidential?

Accepted Answer

Generally, yes. Mediation is a private and confidential process, which allows you both to speak openly. However, there are some exceptions. For example, if there are serious safeguarding concerns or information suggesting someone is at risk of significant harm, the mediator may need to take appropriate action. I would explain confidentiality and its limits clearly before mediation begins.

Question 4

Can mediation help us make arrangements for our children?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Mediation can help parents discuss issues such as where the children will live, how much time they spend with each parent, holidays, birthdays, school arrangements and communication. The focus should always remain on the children’s needs.

Question 5

What happens if we cannot reach an agreement?

Accepted Answer

You are not forced to reach an agreement in mediation. If you cannot agree, the mediator can discuss the next steps available to you. Depending on the circumstances, these could include obtaining legal advice or considering other ways of resolving the dispute.

Question 6

Can we discuss our finances in mediation?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Financial mediation can help separating couples discuss matters including the family home, savings, debts, pensions, investments and other assets. The mediator helps you exchange relevant financial information and explore options for reaching a fair agreement.

Question 7

Can our children have a say in mediation?

Accepted Answer

In appropriate circumstances, child-inclusive mediation can give a child an opportunity to express their wishes and feelings to a specially trained mediator. The child does not make the decisions, but their views can help parents understand what is important to them.

Question 8

How long does mediation take?

Accepted Answer

Every family is different. Some people may reach an agreement after one or two sessions, while more complicated matters may require several sessions. The number of sessions will depend on the issues being discussed and how quickly both people are able to make progress.

Frequently asked questions